Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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