and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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