The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Tell her she can't have a vagina
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the day after is always just damage control
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
