How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
