Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize