he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
