...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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