For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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