no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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