but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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