Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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