Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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