We named our party play list daddy issues
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
