What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
