I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
