Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize