I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
