Your tits are I can't wait for
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
