Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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