I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
