I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
