Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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