I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
