I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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