My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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