32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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