At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
