you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
