I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize