There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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