what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
