I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
