Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize