I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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