woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize