I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
