i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
