I cockslap morals
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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