So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
