remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
