I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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