Do you still have your period?
Its about making memories worth repressing
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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