You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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