Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
whose parrot is this?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
