Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
