this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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