My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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