A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
