I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can text with my tongue
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
