Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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