Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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