ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
