The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
