Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
