Need sex. Gaining weight.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
