I puked a lego.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
