One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
