So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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