Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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