Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
