Cold hands, warm shart.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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