It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
