it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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