I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
