so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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