we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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