so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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