When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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