I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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