let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
