Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize