We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize