Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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