i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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