Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize