do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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