The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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