im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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