who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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