I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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